Love is Complicated
by PuffyPanda101
Summary: I loved him to much. That's why I was doing this. It would break his heart now but it was for the best, he deserved better. Shiraishi x Reader


My boyfriend was perfect. He was the bible of Shitenhouji. He was the renowned tennis team's captain. He was loved and respected by everyone. What more could I ask for right?

Wrong.

It was because he was perfect. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't be the right girlfriend. There were so many other girls who could do better, who look better, who would love him more than I could.

Don't misunderstand it's not like I don't love him. It's the opposite actually, I love him too much. I might be paranoid right now but I think he deserves better.

So here I was. After pulling him out of tennis practice I said those terrible words. I' ve never felt so bad in my life.

"Shiraishi-senpai ," I could see him flinch when I said that. I know he was thinking why all the formality. I had called him Kuranosuke ever since we started dating.

"Did something happen (y/n)?" He asked me this I could tell that he was worried about me, worried about us, scared that he did something wrong.

He didn't do anything wrong, he never did, that's why he needed someone better. I made too many mistakes, some that bring him down.

"Nothing happened," I could see his body relax after I said that, "But I don't think this is working out senpai," my voice lacking emotion.

At the sound of those words I saw him tense up and freeze.

"What do you mean (y/n)?" His voice sounded so hurt, I had never wanted to see him like this, I only wanted the best for him, but it was better this way. He could finally find someone else, someone better than me.

"It means we're through." I voiced coldly, hiding my pain.

He looked like he had been slapped.

He tried to hold me too him but I turned and walked away. I whispered,"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," too low for him to hear. This was hurting, no killing me. I didn't want to live without him but I couldn't bring him down any longer. If he was to reach his dream I needed to get out of the way.

The next two days I stayed home. I couldn't bear too see him. What if he hated me? I wouldn't be able to live with that. I wanted things to be like before we started dating but I knew that could never happen.

On the third day I went back to school. When I got there I rushed straight to class. At lunch I saw him coming towards me. I ran away from him.

I don't want to face him. I couldn't face him. It hurts. It hurts too much. My heart was slowly shattering. I had left him but now I want him back.

I avoided him for the rest of the day. I was running through the courtyard after practice. I was about to make it through the gate when my arm was yanked sharply.

I landed in some ones arms. I felt myself being squeezed. Even without a word or even looking up I knew who it was. It was him. The guy that stole my heart. The one I would give up anything to make his dream come true, even our relationship. Even if it meant hurting him.

I felt his arms tighten around me, his face buried in the nook of my neck.

I wanted to run away leave behind the guilt but I couldn't. Another part of me just wanted to hold him tight, to cry into his shoulder. Too tell him over and over how sorry I was.

I just stood. I didn't know what to do. Was it selfish of me too break up with him then want him back?

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry (y/n). Please forgive me. I miss you. Please come back. I love you."

My heart was completely broken right there. How could he say that? He did nothing wrong. It was me, all me.

He was still holding me and whispering to me.

I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Stop it. Just stop. You didn't do anything wrong."

It was too hard too hold in my feelings.

"Then why? Why?" His voice it was so pained so hurt.

Why? That's what I wanted to ask. Why did he love someone like me?

"You deserve better. I am just a girl and there are others." My voice cracked."Others that are prettier and smarter," I was sobbing now. "You deserve bett-"

I felt his lips against my. Warm, soft, and gentle. I had missed this feeling so much.

Why? Why? Why? Why?

It was all I could think.

I felt his lips leave mine. I gazed into his eyes. His emotions were the reflection of mine. Hurt, sadness, pain, confusion, and hope.

"I love you, (s/n)(y/n)."

I felt the familiar pang in my heart. I knew it was selfish I had pushed him away yet now I was taking him back.

"I love you too."

**Sorry if this was really cliché. Tell me how I could make this longer.**


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